Loving Yourself: Learning How to Be Single

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By  Liz Edwards

“I’m head over heels; I really think I am in love.”
“I thought you loved your ex.”
“You know we broke it off.”
“Yeah, a week ago.”
What ever happened to giving yourself some time? That time to revive, to eat a surplus of ice cream, to get over that so-called love that you previously had. What happened to genuinely feeling?

In my 23 years, I feel as though there has been a shift among those around me. I have sat across the table from one too many peers with splendiferous and ostentatious reasons to serial date. They want to be on sale in anticipation of the next person who is looking for a relationship. When that relationship concludes, there is often little time between it and the next one. For some reason, they don’t notice that they are drowning during all of this.

From, “I just really need some sex,” to, “I can’t be alone, why don’t you get that?” I honestly think I have heard it all. I’m no psychologist, but I’ve had enough friends cry on my shoulder to earn some therapy points; so, let me toss you a life preserver, okay? I’ll pull you back up here on Ship Take a Break.
Everyone has that reason to find someone, but no one seems to think of the reasons they should be alone, if not only for a little while. Coercing emotions just so you aren’t on your own is not always the answer to that need you may have. It is feasible that being single is the answer. And by single, I mean real single. No dating, no flirting, no perusing your peers—not chasing the next relationship.
My proposition (just hear me out) is to take a little bit of time in each part of your life to understand yourself because we aren’t always so easy to understand. That includes the experimental college years. If you are forever trying to match someone else, please the person you have a crush on or relentlessly wasting energy on unrequited love, how can you know yourself? Knowing yourself is one step closer to loving yourself and there is no love better than that.
Being single does not mean you are broken or unloved but perhaps just wise. Sometimes we all just need a month or two to truly mend and then another month to rethink who we are. Because, no matter how much you may want to disregard that idiot that broke up with you after only two months, he or she changed you. Now who are you?

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