Ampersand’s staff weighs in on what we care about
Story by Andrew McMunn
Metal is the best music and honestly no other music matters
Hi. My name is Andrew McMunn, and I have listened to heavy metal since I was in middle school.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Heavy metal? Is that music that screaming shit? Don’t weirdos and freaks listen to that kind of stuff?”
Well, I’m hear to tell you heavy metal is indeed that “screaming shit,” it does attract a number of “weirdos and freaks,” and yes, most of my wardrobe consists of the color black. However, heavy metal encompasses a wide range of musical sounds and styles besides just screaming and banging on things, and it attracts a wide variety of musical connoisseurs. And not all metal band shirts are black (I know, can you believe it?).
But what most people who don’t listen to heavy metal don’t understand is that it is a far superior form of music than any other musical genre. Yeah, you read that right. Metal is better than any other type of music out there, including the audio vomit currently spraying out of your earbuds right now!
Why would I even suggest something so offensive to most people who probably only listen to monotonous tripe consistently playing on the radio?
Maybe because heavy metal is the exact opposite of monotony. It’s dynamic. It’s epic and in your face. It ebbs and flows and then explodes in a tremendous and orgasmic crescendo.
And that only sums up specific types of metal. Metal can be broken down into different subgenres, most not sounding anything like the next one. Death metal is heavy and brutal, with low guttural vocals and guitars like the sound of buzzsaws tearing through flesh, black metal roars like cold Scandinavian winds atop snow covered peaks, and doom metal thunders like an earthquake ripping apart the earth at the bottom of the deepest trench in the ocean. And these three differentiations are just the tip of the iceberg.
Metal also takes a lot of talent to perform. A lot of effort goes into writing the instrumentation, composition, and lyrics of most metal bands. Even more difficult is performing live and not screwing it up over and over again. There’s a reason the most difficult songs to play on Guitar Hero are metal songs (anyone remember the nightmare that is Slayer’s “Raining Blood”?).
By pure musical talent and variety of styles and sounds in the genre, heavy metal is clearly better than any and every other genre of music.