Story by Caleb Foster
The average American commutes 26 minutes in the modern day, and what can make that even worse are the people who choose to drive slower than necessary on the highway.The highway can turn a 45 minute commute from NorthCounty to Webster into a much less intimidating 25 minute drive. That is, unless the slow driving heathens that hauntInterstate 270 get their way. There is nothing worse than being stuck on the highway behind someone driving slow.The entire purpose of the American highway system is for people to be able to avoid traffic jams for safe and quick travel.
Our great grandparents spent over $26 billion on these wonderful highways and interstates, and it is ungrateful for us to use them for anything other than getting from point A to point B quickly and safely! You know what causes traffic jams and slow moving traffic? People driving slower than necessary! There is no need to drive anywhere under 70miles-per-hour, we all want to get where we’re going (except the slow pokes). You driving like a snail puts everyone else driving at a regular speed in jeopardy, when we have to stand on the brakes and move around you.
The highways are no place for lolly gagging, but don’t worry there’s a place for you: the normal streets. You can just about get any and everywhere in the greater St. Louis area without using a single highway or interstate. Each of those surely has a posted speed limit guaranteed not to exceed 55 (45 in most cases) so you can coast at your crawling pace safely out of our way. They even have stop signs and stoplights for you to sit and hang out at if you get tired! Instead of sleeping on the highway, do it on a normal street and you will not have to worry about me driving behind you laying on my horn!
People getting on the highway knowing they don’t want to drive anywhere quickly are just as inconsiderate as someone who comes into a store, fills their cart, and decides after making everyone wait behind them checking out they don’t even want to buy anything. Or someone who walks in the running lane on a track.
Seriously, just drive faster and save us all the annoyance.